A possibly helpful description of the key characters:
Kiran: The keen sportsman who very nearly managed to form a cricket team, à la Lagaan
Vijayanand: The little monster who, as always, came up with this excuse to evade many a practice; “I am going to get fever on Thursday morning”.
Akshit: A cricket enthusiast and very kindhearted senior to the whole institute; very few people there are that have not taken any help from him at least once. There was even a rumour that someone had trekked all the way from the almost-mythical Metallurgy to take Akshit’s blessings.
It all began one hot February afternoon when I was stuffing my face with Brinjal Sambhar at lunch in the mess. Kiran and Vijayanand had been talking about cricket teams, so I had tuned out for a while. There was a sudden lull in the conversation, and I looked up and realized that the boys were looking at me expectantly. “Will you join our cricket team?” Convinced that no one in their right minds would ask me such a question, I looked behind to see if there was someone else. Turns out it was me they were asking. Overcome with emotion at the fact that someone actually wanted me in a sports team, I choked on my sambhar and managed to splutter out a NO. Twenty minutes later, I had agreed to turn up at 6.00 am (6!) the next day for PG Cricket League practice with Team Vijay Squad.
What? Don’t look at me in that manner…I agreed to play mainly for three reasons:
- It would be good exercise and I would hopefully lose some weight.
- The rules required that there be two girls in the team.
- The tall and silent dish from our neighboring lab was also in the team (you almost believed 1 and 2, didn’t you?)
So I turned up on the cricket pitch at 6 am the next morning, yawning and stumbling through the mists of dawn (just kidding, no mist and all in Chennai; one minute it’s dawn, and the next it’s hot, over, that’s all sunrise), and found that another team had also turned up for an early practice. This was something I had not bargained for at all. When you are looking like something the campus deer have chewed on for days and then spat out, the last thing you need is cute strangers assessing your ability at a game you last played 15 years ago (gripped the bat the wrong way round and hit my bowler cousin in the eye, whether to celebrate hitting the ball or mourn hitting the eye?). Anyway, it being too late to back out, I walked up to the ground and looked around for Kiran, who had assured me that I would just be required to turn up and bowl one over. The rules were very relaxed for the girls; we could just throw the ball without having to do that complicated arm-rotation (I am pretty sure this rule was made up because Vijayanand had seen me practicing bowling with great gusto in the lab the previous day. I had to stop after a few minutes when the people from the High Voltage lab below us turned up to investigate why their ceiling was shaking).
Since I had reached nice and early, Kiran sent me off to bowl first, so I stumbled onto the pitch nervously, where the boys were all shouting cricket-y stuff to each other, “What a catch!”, “Out, out, OUT!!”, “On your left, cover that side, cover, cover, run, nooooo”, “Oh my god why is there an elephant at the crease?!” (okay I made that one up, sorry). They fell silent as I took at my place at the non-striker’s end (that’s the place where the bowler stands. As you can see, this article has taken a lot of research, so you better be reading it properly). I could see the very cute captain of the other team sizing me up (a considerable feat) and sizing up my skills (took less than a second), when Universal Senior Akshit came on to bat, grinning like an ape at seeing me looking all sporty and determined, a look no one has ever seen me in and will never again. Groaning internally, I lobbed the ball at his smirking face, he swung his bat around like Tendulkar and…hit the ball straight into the stumps. I froze. US Akshit froze. Cute Captain froze. And then the pitch erupted into celebration (means 3 guys shouted random stuff I couldn’t make out, but you get the gist); I had taken a wicket in my first ball! Ahahaha, hello Mithali Raj, howzzat?
The next few days passed by in a pleasant blur of people stopping me in the corridor and enquiring whether I had really caught Akshit off guard, and demonstrations of this spin or that, which ended badly when I explained that I had just lifted my arm and thrown the ball. Then the second practice rolled around. Again I cycled off to the ground blearily at some ungodly morning hour and rolled up to the pavilion, which consisted of the one park bench, only to find the other girl from our team all pepped up and ready to go. Upon enquiry, I learnt that her name was H, but any hopes I might have had of finding a kindred soul in this slightly intimidating sea of sportsmen vanished when she asked if I could give her practice for cover-drives. “Cover-drives…ohh..ahh..cover-drives, yes, no doubt, but I have to…” I mumbled, feebly gesturing towards the direction of the pitch, and turned and made a desperate dash for the pitch, hoping someone would give me something to do which didn’t involve any words except bat and ball.
Before I knew it, someone had handed me a bat and disappeared, leaving me alone at the crease with the remains of an unsuccessful conversation (“I don’t know how to bat!”, “Arre it’s not an issue, just swing the bat”, “You said I only had to bowl one over”, “Yeah but you’ll be the last batsman if everyone else gets out”). So I stood there, gripping the bat tensely, waiting for the onslaught of the ball. The bowler was from the other team; they had turned up today also, replete with Cute Captain, who was eyeing my grip on the bat with a mixture of derision and amusement. Having completed the menacing little run that is such an integral part of the game, the bowler delivered the ball. I lashed out with the bat in the general direction of the ball, and heard an entirely unexpected and extremely satisfying ‘thunk’, which could mean only one thing. I had actually managed to swing the bat at the right time, at the right pace, in the right place, and connect with the ball. Yeess, Mithali Raj, howzzat again! As I stood there, marvelling at my own hidden talents, wrapped in a snug cloud of jubilation, a lone voice penetrated through, “Run, run, bhaago bhaaaagooo!” Confused and annoyed, I turned around to glare at the screaming dunderhead who was interrupting my crickastles in the air, and suddenly realized that it was me he was screaming at, because I had forgotten to run after hitting the ball. By the time my dimwitted brain understood what was happening and propelled my legs forward, the non-striker batsman had run up to my place, and I promptly banged into him (to my immense regret it was neither Cute Captain, nor the neighbouring lab dish), sat down suddenly and heavily on the ground, and ended my lucky cricket run in a trail of dust and embarrassment. Thus did I lose a future in sports, and this country a budding Mithali Raj.
P.S. What do you mean did this really happen? Of course it happened!
P.P.S. *glares dourly at doubters*
P.P.P.S.